About me 

And who exactly am I?

I am the embarrassment you feel

When you wave at someone in public

And they just walk off ignoring you

I am the panic you feel

When you suffer the falling sensation

While sleeping

I am the fear in your mind

When you were alone in the dark

As a child and thought you heard strange noises

I am your every nightmare ever

And the feeling you wake up with 

After having one

I am the helplessness you feel

In the face of tragedy 

The regrets of your life

When you know you could have changed things

But nothing can be done now

I am the moments of anger

That erupt out of suppressed rebellion 

I am the knock on your door

When you’re in your room

Watching porn

I am your pain

Your anxiety and your insecurity

The itch on your back

That you can’t scratch

I am your lust

Animalistic yet repressed

I am your broken dream

I am immense

I am nothing

I am Girish



Losing Myself

Sitting in the same old room

I sit with my head held between my knees

Wondering if I’ll ever get my life together

Sometimes being able to smile seems like an achievement

Any trace of self confidence or esteem seems annihilated

The spirit that I had built

After conquering my insecurities 

Is shattered again as I watch

People who were intimidated by me

Weak minded cretins with pusillanimous ways

Grow bigger and better than me with every passing day

It’s a strange form of irritation 

A frustration mingled with sadness

It’s an abyss that was created

When all sense of pride 

Vanished into thin air

Self worth now seems a delusion of grandeur

I scream internally 

And pick up the pen

It’s a sickening routine but I’m addicted

I believe it exorcizes my demons

But writing only creates them

Gives them a form for the entire world to look at

To peep into the troubled psyche of an insecure little insect

I lose all sense of physical attachment 

A complete desolation of identity

The lights go off

And the wretched apparitions of my mind 

Reveal themselves on paper

As I write

‘Not a body, nor a thought

No emotion and no heart

I am nothing but a mere nocturnal reflection’