An Ode To The Almighty 

I speak on behalf of all celestial beings

This is a prayer to thee,

The Master of all

Beyond whom nothing exists

You’re like a Buddhist monk

One who walks with utter peace and serenity 

Unperturbed by the happenings of his surroundings 

His consciousness on a higher spiritual plane

And his movements so subtle 

Even his shadow cannot mimic the grace

But even he, my Lord, knows

That you’re above him 

No being born in this cosmos

Goes one day without thinking of you once

You’re in the minds of all

Striking fear in some, an utter awe in others

Our only absolute certainty in a life of chaos 

But you remain silent

Undisturbed.

You judge no one 

You respond never,

But you’re there.

Ever present.

The cries or the prayers never affect you 

No man has been born 

No matter how rich, or talented ,

To be able to escape your awareness

You’re ultimate

No war or bloodshed could shake you 

No tears could leave you disturbed

You walk your path and pick us up in your eternal cusp

The predator or prey, man or woman , a child with a terminal disease 

They are all the same in your mystic eyes

I acknowledge your presence

I bow down before you, my almighty

Lead us one by one out of misery and lust,

This is my prayer to you, Death.

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Dirty, Dirty Rockstar

You saw him on your TV

A God that you had wanted

Lust that grows with peoples hatred

Every protest, and you feel insulted

He’s the man of your dreams

His words are more divine than your priests

His sound is the voice of your screams

And yet you think his style is grounded

 

He’s an angel with scabbed wings

A demon to save your world

He said he loves you like his little girl

And you felt the pain in his voice

He was the end of your misery, its dirty demise

 

Now you wear the same brand of lipstick

That he does, and the mascara he wears

His gothic black boots are your parents nightmares

He cuts himself on screen

With words too obscene

You waited in line for hours, you wanted to meet him

But he went too soon, didn’t get a chance to greet him

You were so frustrated you broke out at your parents

And spat at the guy from school who claimed you’re the dearest

That was the night you put his songs on loop

You slipped into a depressive cocoon

Of your lustful devotion

A bag of hallucinogenics and a mindful of twisted emotions

 

 

He’s an angel with scabbed wings

A demon to save your world

Watch as he lets his darkness unfurl

You wish he would be yours

Because he looks so sad and lonely

But little did you know that his story is phoney

You’d bathe in his sorrow

But all he did was piss on you

Because power always pisses on the weak

 

He’s a drug addict now and part of a scandal

He wasn’t too merciful with his groupies

And did things to them that you can’t fathom

But he’s the love of your life

And you stand by him even though he sold you lies

You thought he held your hand when you were alone

But heroes die too soon, and your models are decievers

You cut your arm for real but his blood onscreen was fake

His entire facade was built to target your emotions

 

Now you plead for the Angel

The demon you left your love and family for

You thought he was true, but he left wounds so raw

Your insecurity is his market

It’s not the sadness but the drugs that made his face rugged

You thought he would be yours

But as always, you’ve been cheated again and left alone…

 

Carcinoma

22/12/2015

 

Its just another day with very little sleep

Another night of horrible nightmares

Another day of violent vomiting and nausea

Another day in the Land of Malady

It’s been like this for a while now

My body has become a wasteland

A host

 

In me grows my baby

I still remember the day

When the doc said I was pregnant

It was a day of such simple joy

But all too soon came the news

A crushing blow

 

My body was also a host

To an emotionless alien

Growing, spreading inside me

Eating my insides and corroding my immunity

My heart sank when the doc said it

‘Cancer’

 

And that’s the day the battle began

A beautiful soul growing in me

A human life, soon to be born

With dreams and hope and love

Together with a being whose sole purpose

Was to kill

 

‘Life is a race’ they say

Yes, and I’m a finalist already

But I have to run for the life that lives inside

Outlive the monster, I tell myself

But it keeps growing

Its will as inhuman as its purpose

Pure evil

 

I give up sometimes

‘Just begin with the treatment’ they say

But it endangers the life of the child as well

The thing, it has spread its claws on both of us

I shed tears, of desperation

Of guilt and sometimes of joy

When I feel my child move inside

It is a little triumph of life

A little nudge reminding me to carry on

‘Be a fighter mom!’

I dream my child say with a smile on an angelic face

And then I see the face begin to rot

It’s like even my brain is full of venom

I hope my child wins

Hope.

To Wish For A Glasgow Smile

I am standing in a dark tunnel

The floor beneath me feels mushy

And a damp stench is in the air

It is how my life has been;

lately.

I have no idea what I am doing here

All I know for certain is how numb

I have become

But then the ground shook and there was tension in the air; I suppose fear is what I felt; and I was glad I could feel it

A fear of failure?

I pondered some more about life

In the damp darkness

About how it is so uncertain

Shaped by disaster;

Lead by chaos

Sometimes it seems like its been years

Since I was happy

But then I heard a sound, a sound that told me I was close to the end of the tunnel; My heart started pacing and I was glad to be alive

I paced my footsteps faster

My breath grew heavy

My sight grew dim

But I knew the path led somewhere

Somewhere; anywhere but here

Memories flashed in my mind

In fast motion

I could see all the faces of childhood again

I was running now

And my mind was hallucinating

I knew I was not far from the world I dreamed of

Adrenaline pumped through me

My legs which dragged me through cold empty streets;

Were now filled with a rage so mad

I was excited enough to exhale my lungs out

My mind for once was not distracted

It wasn’t taken over by fear

(Fear of what? Failure? Rodents? Death?)

I thought I could hear the voice of another soul closeby

And it reminded me of words such as friendship and love

Oh, how I have missed those!

And I ran like I was being chased by goblins

Or the Reaper himself

Trying to escape a terrifying life

Leave a past that has haunted me so

And walk into a dream world

Where I finally knew why I wake up every morning

And it was as if the God who had failed me all these years showed up

For I saw a light at the end of the tunnel

And tears hot as lava flowed down my face

I know knew what ‘alive’ meant

I was running fast enough to numb my brain

And screaming till I thought my throat would bleed

And my mouth was a grin so big and my eyes so wide;

My face looked like that of an alien

And then, my heart stopped.

My mouth went wide open with a waterfall of saliva

My eyes wider than ever before

My legs gave out

As I realised

There was a train coming my way…

Lets Answer Some Questions (Liebster Award)

So I have I have been nominated for the prestigious Liebster award by the lovely lady M. Saluja, but unfortunately I do not accept award nominations anymore. However, this particular award nomination came along with a very interesting list of questions that I would love to answer, simply because it gives me an opportunity to introspect even more than I usually do.

If the world is going to end tomorrow, what would you do?

I have often pondered over this question, if I were to know life ends tomorrow, what do I do today? Well, the most honest answer I have come up with is: nothing. My mind would be too chaotic to allow me to do anything but think of finding some way to avoid the impending disaster. But if I somehow manage to convince myself that the world is guaranteed to end and there is no escape, I would sit quietly and reach the deepest corners of my mind and jot down whatever comes to me at that point, then pass it to whoever is in a similar state as mine.

When did you think that you have grown up?

I have not grown up. I don’t think I will in the near future.

If you can trade your life for something, what would you ask for in return?

I won’t trade my life for anything unless it is to save humanity or some unrealistic scenario like that.

What is your deepest desire?

My deepest desire is to cause some sort of a revolution. Not necessarily a social one, maybe an academic or artistic one? I do not know how or what, but being the cause of a great revolution seems like a dream come true to me. Catalyze a big change in some way.

If you have unlimited money and time, what would you do?

Follow my deepest desire(s).

Who is your idol and why?

I simply do not have one. Having an idol implies that you wish to be like them in ways more than one. I have not seen a single individual who has impressed me with their ways in so many fields that I wish to emulate them everywhere. Nope.

If you are to write history again, what would you change?

I wouldn’t change a thing. If I wiped off the World Wars, they would take place but at a different time. Maybe at a time when the world couldn’t afford to have a war of such immense magnitude that could potentially wipe off existence as we know it. It is the horrors of our previous experiences that makes us learn lessons and change our ways in the future. Changing history would mean changing the present and the future. Maybe, we would be having a Holocaust in 2015 if history were any different.

Which is your favorite classical work and why?

There are plenty, but the one that comes to mind is Edgar Allan Poe’s poem ‘The Raven’.  The narrative and the tone of the poem are beautiful and I just love the Gothic quality that the poem carries.

If you get a chance to meet someone from past or present, whom would you prefer meeting?

There are too many names here! Lots of writers, film makers and musicians that I would love to meet and ask them questions about their art. But right now the one name that comes to my mind is Indian poet and novelist Jeet Thayil. There are so many questions that I would ask him about his poems, about his book, his life, and also his musical projects!

Red

The monk had to bite his tongue

Before he could admit it to himself

He had seen the girl during the festival

And she had stayed in his mind ever since

It was the first of his innocent sins…

I wanted that rose so badly

I wrapped my flesh around its thorns

The way it stood, bright red

My hands are withered, but my heart is clean

Why did you do this to me?

He spoke to her so frequently

She seemed to him so disturbed

What is wrong, my child, he inquired

Her face twitched and made sounds absurd

Her parents had harassed her

And now all he knew was rage

I wanted that rose so badly

All my prayers were for it

The way it stood,so brightly

My mind is without peace, but my heart is clean

Why did you do this to me?

They decided to end her misery

He was man enough to help her

He broke into her house and killed her parents

She looked at him and smiled and that smile was treasure

But the smile melted away

And her eyes turned sinister

I wanted that rose so badly

I betrayed my God for it

But still it stood with so much pride

My conscience is stained, but my heart is clean

Why did you do this to me?

They put him on the stake next day

All the monks and villagers

She was there too, with a smile

He was treated like the killers and pillagers

They burnt him while they cheered

And he wept through his final moments

I wanted that rose so badly

I traded my life for it

But it stood like nothing had happened

My body burns, but my heart is clean

Why did you do this to me?

Foreigner 

It’s a challenge for me to keep walking

Because all along the way I feel their eyes

And see them on their arcane thrones

Every step of mine is scrutinised

And every word placed under a fine tooth comb

They claim proudly in their tongue that their land is warm

But the frost developed over my heart knows it’s a lie

I often refuse to concern myself with their condescending advice

Because I know I am the only person who can change my life

I often feel left out and ganged up against 

But it’s the price you pay for being different 

The rivers, the birds and the way of people is foreign 

But only the sky and its stars remind me of home

I am homebound but no longer know what home is

I seem to be trying to reach a place that exists only in broken memories 

And sung in folk songs by old men with no families or shelter

I just follow the  moon like moths looking for light 

My footsteps proceed rapidly and I let go of all my attachments 

I am now a wanderer, looking for a place where I truly belong