An Orphanage Named Damnation

He looked out from the smoky window
At a city that was overflowing like its sewers
The cacophony of tormented souls ringing in his ears
He could see the true face of the people
The city reverberated with their oppressed cry
It was a cry for attention. A prayer for a Messiah.
He saw a thousand blackened and blank faces everyday
Staring blandly at the painted rich bastards
Who spoke of things they never would understand
Never.
The rich man would always turn his head away from their face
Their face
They all had a face, but no identity
Might as well call them the scum of the Earth
He thought how their existence mattered as much as a heap of shit on the road
Or a rotting carcass in a garbage dump
Perhaps as much as the maggots feeding on that carcass
He had seen children picking off food from restaurant trash cans
To feed mothers who were now too old to be whores
He realized how this city is like an orphanage for them
They didn’t know how they came here, they don’t know who their creators are
They don’t know what future holds for them
They don’t understand what makes them any different from ‘normal’ people

The bus stopped. He got off. His orphanage only a couple of blocks away. His shirt was soaked in sweat as he held tightly to his Jute handbag. He entered the roadside Motel and gave the man in charge a nod of acknowledgement. He walked through the dingy corridor that had rooms on either side; the filth on the floor was hardly any dirt compared to the sickness of the activities inside the rooms. The people inside and the people who ran the place or washed its rooms evoked no interest in him, he had learned to ignore them as he had learned to remain indifferent to the negligence that had been bestowed upon him since birth. He had often thought about the slum families and the junkies and the hookers and the thieves and somehow he had always felt like he was one of them, one with the filth that contaminated Earth. He felt omnipotent. He felt powerful.

He entered the toilet and stood at its ventilator. His grip around his handbag tightened. He took out a tattered picture from his pocket that a volunteer had once given him when they had realized he was too old to be adopted. It said ‘Your Savior will arrive’.

He was now looking at the busiest and poshest streets from the ventilator. He knew his moment had come.This was his chance to stand out.To be known. To be a somebody. He took out the rifle from his handbag and held it against the open frame. He saw a young lady standing with her mother near a parking lot and aimed carefully at the girls head. He squeezed the trigger.

There was a splash of red and slobs of flesh flew from her head and splattered on a car behind her. A smile erupted on his face. ‘The Messiah is here’ he thought to himself as he blew the mothers head off with a swift shot. Soon people started running around in all directions. They looked all alike in that chaos, a cesspool, like scum with no identity. He squeezed the trigger again and watched an old mans face disappear with the bullet. He heard cries from within the Motel corridors and loud banging on the washroom door.

‘Can’t ignore me now can you?’ He thought as he shot another one in their chest and watched them collapse into a pool of their own blood.

 

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Dirty, Dirty Rockstar

You saw him on your TV

A God that you had wanted

Lust that grows with peoples hatred

Every protest, and you feel insulted

He’s the man of your dreams

His words are more divine than your priests

His sound is the voice of your screams

And yet you think his style is grounded

 

He’s an angel with scabbed wings

A demon to save your world

He said he loves you like his little girl

And you felt the pain in his voice

He was the end of your misery, its dirty demise

 

Now you wear the same brand of lipstick

That he does, and the mascara he wears

His gothic black boots are your parents nightmares

He cuts himself on screen

With words too obscene

You waited in line for hours, you wanted to meet him

But he went too soon, didn’t get a chance to greet him

You were so frustrated you broke out at your parents

And spat at the guy from school who claimed you’re the dearest

That was the night you put his songs on loop

You slipped into a depressive cocoon

Of your lustful devotion

A bag of hallucinogenics and a mindful of twisted emotions

 

 

He’s an angel with scabbed wings

A demon to save your world

Watch as he lets his darkness unfurl

You wish he would be yours

Because he looks so sad and lonely

But little did you know that his story is phoney

You’d bathe in his sorrow

But all he did was piss on you

Because power always pisses on the weak

 

He’s a drug addict now and part of a scandal

He wasn’t too merciful with his groupies

And did things to them that you can’t fathom

But he’s the love of your life

And you stand by him even though he sold you lies

You thought he held your hand when you were alone

But heroes die too soon, and your models are decievers

You cut your arm for real but his blood onscreen was fake

His entire facade was built to target your emotions

 

Now you plead for the Angel

The demon you left your love and family for

You thought he was true, but he left wounds so raw

Your insecurity is his market

It’s not the sadness but the drugs that made his face rugged

You thought he would be yours

But as always, you’ve been cheated again and left alone…

 

Voices

‘Tyler? Tyler?? Tyler!!!’

Huh? Doctor? Is that you?

What are you doing in my room?

I can hear you, but I can’t see you

Is my mind playing tricks on me?

It does when I get a little bit lonely

‘Your mom, she hasn’t even wished you

Just like everyone else, she too has ditched you’

She must be with her friends today 

She’s been too tired from working too late

‘She could have informed you

When was the last time she left you?’

But…

‘You’re too much of a burden

It’s difficult to live with a retarded son in a suburban 

Its been months since you last went to school 

Remember the times everyone thought you were cool?

Now nobody seems to miss you

Nobody calls, intentionally, just to diss you’

Arpita called me last week

She had to cut the call because the connection was too bleak

‘That’s just an excuse 

She used to be your muse

Haven’t you heard about her and Rohan?

She has found a replacement 

And you’re on your way to where your dad went’

No! Please stop! You’re making me cry!

You were so nice doctor! Was all the positivity just a lie?

‘You’re fat, ugly, you’re balding and lonely

Do you think girls would want to be with someone so phoney?

People still remember your first public breakdown

They still talk about it, like it were a celebrity meltdown

A bright young kid who completely lost it

He’s holed up now, kept inside a closet

Hahaha

They act nice when you’re around 

And call you a maniac when you’re gone’

No! Please stop!! My head hurts!

It’s like all the blood cells in my brain have burst!

‘I know what to do if that’s the case

It might hurt a little but it will make the pain go away

You see the cutter there? Put it to your neck and push it through

You will feel all the pain and embarrassment fly out of you’

What if I scream and grandma wakes up upstairs?

She’s got a weak heart, it’ll be worse than my worst nightmares

‘There’s nothing to worry about

If you scream, you will choke and only blood will come out

Are you a pussy? If not, you know what to do

And remember, nobodies ever gonna cry for you’

Ugh…ummm…okay

The front door opens. A woman in her mid thirties enters holding a large box and lots of plastic bags from a shopping mall. It’s raining very hard and almost noon. She enters along with a group of teenagers and a couple of adults. All of them settle down in the living room and start playing Tyler’s favorite music and  decorating the place. The woman, Tyler’s mom, walks towards his room which is locked from the inside. She knocks on the door. ‘Honey! I’m back! Sorry I left you alone! You thought mommy forgot about your birthday didn’t you? Awww my baby, I have bought you a big birthday cake and also enrolled you for the piano course!’ She knocks again.’All your friends are here too. All of them. They  have been planning a surprise party for you all this time! And oh, your phone! It wasn’t working and the phone calls would end too soon but don’t worry I got it fixed!’ She knocks rapidly. ‘Come out baby! You’re doctor is here as well! He came all the way from his clinic just to meet you!’ The knocking grows. ‘Come out! Come out!! Open the door honey!!’

‘Tyler? Tyler?? Tyler!!!’