To Wish For A Glasgow Smile

I am standing in a dark tunnel

The floor beneath me feels mushy

And a damp stench is in the air

It is how my life has been;

lately.

I have no idea what I am doing here

All I know for certain is how numb

I have become

But then the ground shook and there was tension in the air; I suppose fear is what I felt; and I was glad I could feel it

A fear of failure?

I pondered some more about life

In the damp darkness

About how it is so uncertain

Shaped by disaster;

Lead by chaos

Sometimes it seems like its been years

Since I was happy

But then I heard a sound, a sound that told me I was close to the end of the tunnel; My heart started pacing and I was glad to be alive

I paced my footsteps faster

My breath grew heavy

My sight grew dim

But I knew the path led somewhere

Somewhere; anywhere but here

Memories flashed in my mind

In fast motion

I could see all the faces of childhood again

I was running now

And my mind was hallucinating

I knew I was not far from the world I dreamed of

Adrenaline pumped through me

My legs which dragged me through cold empty streets;

Were now filled with a rage so mad

I was excited enough to exhale my lungs out

My mind for once was not distracted

It wasn’t taken over by fear

(Fear of what? Failure? Rodents? Death?)

I thought I could hear the voice of another soul closeby

And it reminded me of words such as friendship and love

Oh, how I have missed those!

And I ran like I was being chased by goblins

Or the Reaper himself

Trying to escape a terrifying life

Leave a past that has haunted me so

And walk into a dream world

Where I finally knew why I wake up every morning

And it was as if the God who had failed me all these years showed up

For I saw a light at the end of the tunnel

And tears hot as lava flowed down my face

I know knew what ‘alive’ meant

I was running fast enough to numb my brain

And screaming till I thought my throat would bleed

And my mouth was a grin so big and my eyes so wide;

My face looked like that of an alien

And then, my heart stopped.

My mouth went wide open with a waterfall of saliva

My eyes wider than ever before

My legs gave out

As I realised

There was a train coming my way…

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