Straight From The Heart

It’s ridiculous how I function
I might be at my lowest
Feeling depressed as ever
And yet I watch a sad film
Listen to stories of agony
Fill myself with more melancholia
Empathise with others pain
And feel it with mingling with my own
I guess I’m a masochist
Suffering is a must
Why not enjoy it?
‘Expose yourself to uncomfortable zones and you’ll grow’ they say, my whole life has been an uncomfortable zone and I want to grow out of it
My mind is a glass box
Sometimes I worry it will shatter
And truth will pour out
Bloody and bruised by the shards of glass
They say people who feel lonely tend to notice ants a lot, ants always move in groups and you want to be part of one- I have hallucinated them
Darkness surrounds me
There is an emptiness inside
Yet I feel so full of demons
From the top of my lungs to the bottom of my heart I scream, at the chasm in between, and this path of misery
My mind is an abyss, cold, dark and empty
A flash of lighting, it is only my nihilism
Yet I expose myself to more pain
I guess it makes me feel more human
But I always hated them
My whole life I’ve never felt like I belong somewhere, I feel alienated in my own space. Never been anyone’s top priority, I remain just an honourable mention…

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